Alphabetical Emotions: Fear

FFinding the right property in the country was proving difficult. This place sounded idyllic. It boasted a creek, populated with platypus, meandering through the property. On reaching Kempsey we headed west following the Macleay River. We dreamed of picnicking by the wide expanse of water and getting to know the folk in the arty crafty hamlets we were passing through. Before long we were heading up the narrowing road that ended in Armidale on the New England Tablelands. Never having been good with windy roads, steep drops and heights my fear levels were starting to rise. When we turned off this road to the right, the road narrowed even further, turning to dirt with hairpin bends and nowhere to go but down even if a small mistake was made. I started screaming like a banshee “Turn around. We’re not buying this place so go back.”
“No we’re going. We rang, they’re expecting us. It’d be rude not to show up.”
“There’s no point. We’re not buying it. If we did I’d never leave. I want to get off this road. Turn around” I screamed but to no avail. When Roger had made his mind up it was not easily changed and he had absolutely no empathy for what he saw as my irrational fears.

He’d put up with me in Europe on the roads there where he’d learnt to ignore me when I screamed as the fear took hold, quietening as the fear intensified and the colour drained from my body. I’d silently sob, my eyes wide-open, pupils dilated, barely breathing consumed with terror. My heart pumped with such speed it felt as though it would jump from my chest whilst my stomach sank drowning in fear.

Finally we arrived and were greeted warmly. “ You know” the man said “we get quite a few calls from people saying they are coming but they never turn up.”
“I can understand that” I responded. “If I’d had my way we wouldn’t have either. That road is terrifying.” The place was beautiful and although the creek babbled over the worn stones with the trees casting gently moving shadows I was not to be swayed in my resolve not to purchase.

About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
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15 Responses to Alphabetical Emotions: Fear

  1. Deb says:

    I don’t blame you! I wouldn’t want to have a drive like that either. No, I WOULD NOT have a drive like that! Company would NEVER leave they would be so consumed in fear!


  2. Livonne says:

    I don’t mind roads like that as long as I’m in control of the car.. I’m terrified if someone else is behind the wheel..


  3. I do understand you. I live in a country, where those roads are existing and I have learned not to be so scared any longer. In the beginning it was difficult.


  4. Sherri says:

    I felt your fear reading this Irene and my heart is pumping too! Those kinds of roads (as we’ve shared before re Crete) are so scary when you’re peering over the edge to a very long way down. Easier when you are the one doing the driving but as a passenger, well, just awful. Excellently written as always 🙂


  5. Jenni says:

    That must be so difficult, especially in some of the cities. Brisbane is the twistiest, turniest place ever, not to mention the drive up the range to Toowoomba.


  6. This really brings me to a place which seems so exotic compared to where I am. Do they really have creeks that are populated by platypus? It seems like they are some mythical creature like a unicorn or bigfoot.


  7. Pingback: Fear | Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist)

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