Tune: Six Sentence Stories

The pain in Mirrabella’s chest intensified and her fear matched it. Softly she hummed “Whenever I feel afraid,” but on this occasion it didn’t stop her panic rising so she sat to see if it would go away when she stopped walking. The dog, in perfect harmony with her, sat and waited patiently.

The pain eased and she set off, only to have it return almost immediately so she walked into the doctors surgery she was passing and told them she suspected she was having a heart attack.  After blood tests, ECGs, auscultation and interview the doctor pronounced her a well-oiled machine with no evidence of any heart problem. ‘The pain may be eased,” the doctor said “if you stop your dog from pulling on the lead as this is causing the tendons in the shoulder and chest to tear, giving you the chest pain.”

In response to Zoe’s six sentence story prompt

About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
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19 Responses to Tune: Six Sentence Stories

  1. Many things can mimic a heart attack, but better safe than sorry. And this having to train dogs not to pull is one reason i do not have a dog. As much as i love dogs, i’m terrible at training them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your heart. I understand why you don’t have a dog. I cannot abide dogs that don’t do as they are told and I have to admit that both my dog and I love dog training. Mine doesn’t rip my arm off I’m glad to say.


  2. nice work hiding/disguising the element that makes the ending work so well!*

    *I enjoyed your Six and very often, part of that pleasure is from trying to figure ‘how’ the writer has managed to have the Six create the effect. I went back and read it again and spotted the “The dog, in perfect harmony with her, sat and waited patiently” and thought (well, after a little while)…ah ha! there! we knew that the dog was an active element but not as consciously as of the other story elements.1

    1) very cool

    Liked by 1 person

    • Clark I don’t know that I did it on purpose. I was just being subtle with the prompt by having Mirabella hum “Whenever I feel afraid I whistle a happy tune” followed with the dog in perfect harmony (in perfect tune) with her. Then she went to the doctor who pronounced she was a well-oiled machine (like a car tune-up) and then desperately how could I finish – my sentence number left me only one sentence to complete the story and against my better judgement (I like well trained dogs) I made the dog the culprit.
      Saying that – I am really glad it worked for you as a story.


  3. Kristi says:

    Her dog needs a Gentle Leader–it’s a wonder to prevent pulling!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, that was a relief! She was barking up the wrong tree.

    Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings

    Liked by 1 person

  5. At least Mirribella listened to her body and went to see the doctor, even if it was a different culprit than she first suspected causing her chest pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A happy ending, lessons learned. Phew.

    Liked by 1 person

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