Guilt: Friday Fictioneers

waves

© Rochelle  Wisoff-Fields

Imploring. Beseeching. Would the image of those children’s eyes, the colour of the wet rocks ever leave me? Those rocks were the only reminder now the sea was calm. It held none of the menace of that day. The small wooden boat floundering in the waves, broken on the rocks. The children struggled futilely, their drowning eyes boring holes into my soul. Now all I wished was for peace. Peace for them and for me. The church hadn’t helped and nor had the psychiatrists they’d sent me to. Sacrifice was my only hope. I pushed my daughter off the cliff.

In response to Rochelle’s prompt for Friday Fictioneers

About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. Commenced a masters by research in 2014.
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44 Responses to Guilt: Friday Fictioneers

  1. neilmacdon says:

    I pushed my daughter off the cliff! Good grief! That totally unexpected last line was a punch to the solar plexus

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That was an unexpected ending!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Talk about a surprise ending! Whoa! You have captured the inner most being of a snapped mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Horrible but tragically true for some. Hopefully modern medical and psychiatric treatment will provide more safety and solace for ill people.-

    Liked by 1 person

  5. michael1148humphris says:

    That caught me out, but would I want to know more? It’s that word sacrifice, powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. gahlearner says:

    Aah! I didn’t see that coming, what a great and horrible twist. I call what you described in the comments the subconscious writing magic. Suddenly the words are there, and you’re shocked and don’t know where they came from. But they’re exactly right.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. i b arora says:

    thanks for stopping by on my blog. your story left me horrified.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What an unexpected and chilling end to your story! Very well-narrated!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sherri says:

    Didn’t see that ending coming Irene…wow…great writing…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This one caught me completely off guard! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dear Irene,

    That was quite a twist. I think she needs more than a therapist. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Amy Reese says:

    Oh, wow! I didn’t expect that ending. How tragic!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dahlia says:

    Whoosh! that’s my breath leaving me. Completely unexpected – I thought that he (somehow got the feeling of a he) was talking about his own sacrifice and then…fantastic. Loved it. Awesome pictures above too. Will be checking them out later in a more leisurely manner 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Margaret says:

    I was surprised by Dahlia’s comment – I got the feeling of a female narrator. I suspect I impose the gender of the author when there are no story references to go by. Interesting. Either way, it’s a powerful story – a real shock ending – and it made me think of how the notion of sacrifice is central to so many belief systems. If only her psychiatrist had seen what was really going on in her mind.Well told, Irene.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dahlia was right – it was a he but you are not alone in your thought that it was a woman. You are possibly right that the gender is imposed by the writer’s gender when not given any other clue. I just didn’t think a woman would act in that way. A psychiatrist is definitely needed. Thanks Margaret.

      Like

  15. Pingback: Weekend Coffee Share: 28th May 2016 | Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist)

  16. rgayer55 says:

    I guess when you don’t have a volcano handy the sea will do.
    The poor dear had obviously flipped her lid. You really shocked me with the last line. I didn’t see that coming.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. wmqcolby says:

    Wow! That last line — the convoy took a hit on that one. I’m with Russell. She HAS flipped her lid.

    Nice work, Irene! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Liz Young says:

    What on earth made her think that sacrificing her daughter would assuage her guilt? Clearly a total nutcase!

    Liked by 1 person

    • My thought process – this man, full of hate and fear of foreigners and different religions stood by, watching where he could have been saving. Doing nothing to help the drowning people, sacrificing drowning children to his own fears and hatreds. His fear and hatred was replaced by feelings of extreme guilt which in his now traumatised mind could only be assuaged with the sacrifice of his own child.

      Like

  19. I was totally shocked by the ending… how that can ever help, but I guess with enough guilt it may for some…

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Well, I didn’t see that coming!

    Liked by 1 person

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