99 word flash Fiction: Carrion and Plum Pudding

© irene waters 2014

© irene waters 2014

The stench of the decomposing old man’s carcass filled the air. Rotting road kill.Hit and run. In the desert heat the unfortunate fellow would bloat, explode, and have his bones picked bare by the circling vultures in only a couple of days.

Alarmed, the birds took flight when flying reindeer appeared.  Rudolf’s red nose screwed up at the malodorous vapours which suddenly invaded his sensitive, red nostrils.

“Blow this Santa. I’m not doing it. My nose is too sensitive.”

“We’ve got to deliver these toys, Rudi. Here, cover your nose with this plum pudding. Fermenting fruit beats festering coot.

Charli’s December 3, 2014 prompt:over at the Carrot ranch: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that pairs something seasonal with something odd. You can select your own two or pick from the suggested pairings above. Keep one associated with the December holiday season.

About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
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31 Responses to 99 word flash Fiction: Carrion and Plum Pudding

  1. noelleg44 says:

    Got a great chuckle from this, Irene. Clever!

    Like

  2. Charli Mills says:

    Some days, I need to remind myself not to take that sip of coffee before reading your creative writing! I nearly sputtered it all out at my screen, I got to laughing so hard! This is so wickedly whacky! Definitely two things that should never go together. Love that Rudi sounds like a whiny reindeer with his sensitive red nose!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ha ha! Love your humourous flash.

    Like

  4. TanGental says:

    Coffee? I had a mouthful of chicken pie. Health warnings Irene! Great story. I’ve often thought there’s a place for Rudolph’s diaries and this had to be one. There must be so many stories. The desert heat and dust, being forced down for infringing airspace, dodging weather barons, being shot at btpy duck hunters

    Liked by 4 people

  5. la_lasciata says:

    I thought you were a nicer person than I am: looks like I were wrong …
    Only someone at my level could possibly pair up a rotting corpse and plum pudding.
    {grin}

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Gah! Irene…that is just gross. And kind of funny. At least I wasn’t eating or drinking. 😉 Great flash!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Annecdotist says:

    Great fun, Irene. Wonder if it would also work with figgy pudding{

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wonderful singing. Love the figgy pudding. I have to admit I have never heard of figgy pudding in relation to Christmas. Is it tradition in your part of England?

      Like

    • Annecdotist says:

      Sadly not my choir, Norah, but we will be singing this with full a orchestra at the weekend.
      Irene, I think both the figgy pudding and plum pudding are traditional version but the Christmas puddings we eat today contain neither figs nor plums, although they’re stuffed with other dried fruit. Not that I’m particularly fond of them myself.

      Liked by 1 person

      • We grew up with plum pudding. My husband who comes from Brighton tells of his mother’s pudding where she made it mid year and it hung in the larder until Christmas. He has always scorned our plum puddings as not the real thing. Now we just buy what Aldi calls plum puddings and they aren’t bad although probably not the real thing either.

        Like

  8. Norah says:

    Is that your choir Anne?

    Like

  9. Norah says:

    I definitely hadn’t considered carrion an issue for Santa and Rudi on their travels. Maybe our local kangaroos would fare better being more used to road kill. Great flash!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Sherri says:

    Haha…I’m not eating or drinking so am safe…love it, great flash Irene, I knew you would come up with something wildly different and I’m not disappointed 🙄

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Pingback: Reindeer Games « Carrot Ranch Communications

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