I need to go back to a positive emotion and I have to admit I’m hard pressed to find a positive one starting with N so I am going colloquial phrase for my piece tonight. I’m nuts over my husband, my dogs, blogging and so many things that I’m not going to list them all. For those of you that don’t know this is a term for love and what a nice emotion that is to have on board.
Love covers such a gambit of different emotions. If I were to say I loved that meal it is a different love to that which I feel for my mother which in turn is very different for that which I feel for my husband. It can refer to strong emotions of attraction and attachment. As well it is a blanket covering kindness, compassion and respect for fellow humans, animals and nature. It is one of the most difficult emotions to define as a result of these multitude of usages.
One thing that is for sure – love is a positive emotion.
Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love composed of three facets. Firstly there is intimacy, sharing confidences and the like; secondly commitment – where there is the expectation of permanency and thirdly, sexual attraction and passion. He argued that all love has these components in varying degrees whilst the opposites of love such as hate and apathy share none of the components. So liking may only include intimacy, empty love only commitment and romantic love may include all three.
The saying “opposites attract” developed in response to the invention of electricity where positive and negative charges attract and psychologists of the time believed the same could occur with love. Subsequent research has found this not to be so. When I did psychology we learnt that people with long ear lobes are attracted to people that also have long ear lobes but in my case I have no ear lobes whilst my husband has large flappy ones. I don’t think it made any difference to us.
Erich Fromm postulated that love is not a feeling at all but rather a series of loving actions over time and is dependent on conscious commitment. Ummm. Tell that to those that go nuts over someone. I once had a battle-axe boss who made us quiver in our boots. She was totally work oriented so when she didn’t return from holidays the police were eventually sent looking for her. She had simply forgotten to come back to work as she was in love. I have seen her in recent years and she and the man she loved are still as much in love today as they were then.
My husband tells a similar story with the meeting of his first wife and I have heard numerous other tales much along the same track. Perhaps this is where the evolutionary theory comes in – that we fall in love so that we maintain monogamous relationships and therefore avoid sexually transmitted disease with the associated decline in fertility and increased childhood morbidity.
My theory on love of the romantic passionate kind is that you first should be happy in yourself and not need love to make you feel whole. Love when it comes enhances your happiness, it should not create your happiness. Love can be a stifling but if embraced in an open, nutty fashion love is indeed “a many splendored thing.”
http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com
Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist) 
But I don’t agree with your last par. 🙂
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I put it in just for you M-R. I had to give you something to disagree with me on [grin]. I guess what I was trying to say is that we are responsible for our own happiness and should not expect someone else to be responsible for it. I think that the coming together of two happy people the love between them will be indescribable as they will be happier than imaginable. But I’ll accept you don’t agree with a smile. Cheers Irene
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When I disagree with you, it’s never with a frown, I promise !
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🙂
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Well I LOVE this post Irene! Wow, you are getting some great writing out here! I love learning more about you and your life each time I read one of your posts. I laughed out loud about the ear lobes, haha! Still laughing in fact…but I never heard of that I have to say! Although we are supposed to be attracted to people who somehow mirror us. I can’t see that to be true either in my experience 😉
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Thanks Sherri. Glad you are enjoying the emotion series and I’m certainly happy for you to get to know me better as I do with your posts get to know you better. 🙂
Cheers irene
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Wonderful isn’t it?
Cheers back to you my friend 🙂
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Reblogged this on Writing Out Loud and commented:
I am nuts for love. Nice piece Irene.
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What a wonderful post! How often have I said, “I’m just nuts about……” It’s when I feel loopy, light-headed, and wonderfully happy about something. The story about your battle-ax boss was so unexpected. Thanks for sharing your insights!
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Glad you enjoyed it Noelle. The boss was unexpected for us also. Things were never the same at work after that. Cheers irene
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It took me way too long to actually understand that part about loving yourself first – people always said it, but it took me until my middle age to realize the truth behind it.
Joshisms A to Z
The Road We’ve Shared A to Z
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It’s a good understanding to get to and when ever it happens is good – some people never get there.
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Your last paragraph is one I totally agree with. Love yourself first, be happy with who you are as an individual. When love comes it will join the happiness found within you. This is a nice post. AtoZer http://www.writer-way.blogspot.com
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Thank you Michelle. I’m glad you liked it. I agree the explosion of love that happens between two people that are happy within themselves is fantastic.
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Great post! I’m afraid that I am just plain “nuts”. I am hiding from all hungry squirrels
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LOL. The squirrels are nuts about your nuts – don’t stay hidden for too long.
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I do agree with your theory. I think it’s very true.
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Thanks. Thanks for commenting.
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Great post, Irene. Love your writing – fresh and interesting. And I’m amazed at your blogging awards. I’d love to hear more about them. I didn’t know there were such things as blogging awards until I saw your. I am such a novice, and hoping to get better at this pastime.
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If you enjoy writing Maureen, which I know you do, blogging is a way you can write as much as you want and obtain a reader response quickly. I started to build an author platform but found that I enjoyed not only the writing but the comments from readers – many of which made me think further on the subject and I like the instant gratification of the likes. It takes time and I’ve only been going a short while and am a little time poor due to my studies and desire to have my first book published etc to spend the amount of time visiting other blogs as often as I would like as I believe we all learn something from everyone. The awards are fellow bloggers acknowledging other bloggers that they appreciate and they also introduce you to those that you may not have come across but you may have common interests. I’m sure you’ll find out in time. The other things that I partake in are the challenges. The Daily Post have a list of them on their site and also run their own. These are a good way to meet other writers. Cheers Irene
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I like your theory. Although there wasn’t any romance in my life before I met my 2nd husband (is also my current one), I was content with my life as a single mom. My job was good, my son was the center of my life, money as long as I stuck to the budget wasn’t a problem. Yes, my husband has made my life even better and has enriched what I already had.
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Sounds wonderful Glynis. I like the sound of the enhancement you got to your already happy life. Cheers Irene
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Thanks for your visit to my blog – I’ll come back here for sure 😀
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I do agree with your last paragraph. Don’t know about ear lobes, I do know that falling in love can be a disaster…. Very interesting topic! So pleased to know you are living in Queensland. Thank you for your follow, I look forward to following your blog too.
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Thanks bkpyett both for your follow and comments. Falling in love can cerrtainly be a disaster, its what you do with the disaster that really matters. Cheers Irene
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Beautiful topic. 🙂
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Thanks
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