
photo courtesy of Fandango thank you.
Hidden, I watched the near naked men dance. Splayed feet sent vibrations through the ground, into my body. My desire to join in with the rhythmic beating of their wide, cracked feet as they pounded the earth was immense. The gyrations reached a crescendo, then suddenly stopped. Silence.
The motionless men mesmerised me. I was fixed, unable to move. Initially I was unaware because I did not attempt to stir but when I tried, I found I was glued to the spot. Earlier my limbs craved movement but now, they were so heavy they couldn’t be shifted. My torso too, only swayed with the breeze. My eyes fixed, stared straight ahead at the frozen men.
“Annabelle, there you are.” Simon tapped me on the shoulder.
“Shhhhh. The men,” I pointed, “they’ll see you.”
“What’s you talking about Anna. Those dead branches over there? C’mmon. Race you back to the house.”
I lifted a foot. It was no longer rooted to the spot. Tentatively I walked over to where the men had been. Simon was right. A gnarled jumble of branches. Then I saw the footprint.
In response to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers (FFFAW) 185 words
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About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist
I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
The twist in tale is simply fabulous.
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Thank you very much.
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Dang, that’s cool. You led that dance. Masterful flash.
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Thanks D. Wow, leading the dance — I usually leave that to the men.
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I know, I read. Near naked ones. I was just admiring the powerful and graceful steps and spins of your well told tale.
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You’re so good with the surprise endings.
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Thanks Sharon.
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And that tree does look like it’s dancing away.
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I thought so.
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well written, had me sucked in 🙂
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Clapping hands with glee.
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So well written and mysterious – love the descriptions of the men, the paralysis too. Great story
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Thank you so much Lynn for such a lovely comment.
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My pleasure 🙂
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Love the mystery and the mirroring of the tree roots with her being unable to move. Well done.
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Thank you Iain.
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Rescued just in time.
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Yes I’m not sure where she would be if she hadn’t had the tap on the shoulder.
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Wow! I love this! The last sentence gave me goosebumps! Great story!
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Thank you very much. glad you enjoyed it.
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I really enjoyed it!
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Now this is what I call great writing, I truly enjoyed this flash story.
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You’ve made my day Michael. Thanks.
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So good! Loved the last line!
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Thanks Roger. I hoped to leave the reader with a question mark.
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Woah, that was chilling. A suitably mysterious tale to go with a rather mysterious picture 🙂
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Thanks Anurag. Chilling is good.
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What an engrossing tale! Loved this!
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Thank you Shivangi for a lovely comment.
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Wonder tale, Irene. Sublime in its telling and showing. Had me rooted to the spot reading it!
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Thanks Kelvin for that lovely comment. Glad you enjoyed it and glad you told me you did. Ta.
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Wonder? Wonderful!
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Funny how the eye sees what should be there. I read it as wonderful. Thanks again.
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