Retribution: Friday Fictioneers 6th October 2017

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photo prompt thank you Ted Strutz

Home. The ferry was more inviting. Jan unwound herself from the bench. “Come on. You can do it.” Almost reluctantly she walked up the hill, guided by the moonlight, to the house she’d left twenty years earlier.  

Her parents slept. Jan stood in the doorframe, staring at them, willing them to wake. Aiming the rifle she yelled, “Wake up.” She watched as her parents roused. Her father’s mouth drooped, trying to form words. .

“Is that you Janny?” her mother called. Her unfocussed eyes flickered in all directions. 

Jan turned and left. Too late to punish but the torture could continue.


In response to Friday Fictioneer’s.

About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
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18 Responses to Retribution: Friday Fictioneers 6th October 2017

  1. Oooh, Irene, this is quite frightening.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Varad says:

    That was quite unexpected. Well done on the massive twist.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Irene,

    More torture to let them live, I suppose. Vivid and disturbing piece. Much said in few words. Welcome back!



    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jan seems to have had a very disturbing relationship with parents.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dale says:

    If she felt the need to do that, there must be quite an awful past…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Irene, this is a very powerful story. Jan’s pain is palpable but I sense pain in her mother as well. To suspect that a stranger in her room might be her daughter but not to know if that stranger comes for revenge or to forgive – what pain she also endures.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Moon says:

    So much story in 100 words. Makes me wonder about their past, what her parents might have committed to deserve the torture .
    Great writing, Irene.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. pennygadd51 says:

    Twenty years is an awful long time to be holding onto such rage. Jan is a woman who desperately needs to let go of anger; she’s torturing herself even more than her parents.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. granonine says:

    What Penny said. This is really frightening. All that rage WILL eventually spill out.

    Liked by 1 person

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