Cinders: C-Friday Fictioneers

Screen Shot 2015-11-19 at 6.29.01 am

© C.E. Ayr

“Milord. I see her running up ahead.”

“Quick man, catch her. She has my heart. She mustn’t get away.”

“I’ll get her milord. I’m hot on her footsteps.”

“Make sure of it man or you’ll be headless by morning.” 

“Milord she’s gone down exit 48. Look, she’s lost her shoe. We can find her?”

“No. She chose Exit 48.”

“So Milord?”

“48 is a narcissistic number. I avoid all narcissists. Narcissists lead to heartache. Better heartache now than the kind that will come later. This number is an omen. It may actually save me from a loveless love. Besides which, the cigarettes stink.” 

In response to the photo prompt  kindly provided by C.E. Ayr and the hosting by Rochelle who invites us to write a flash of no more than 100 words and link up via the blue frog on her site. If you don’t want to write have a read as there is always a varied talented selection to read.


About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
This entry was posted in creative writing, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Cinders: C-Friday Fictioneers

  1. Charli Mills says:

    Funny and clever, sort of a twist on Prince Charming after Cinderella!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A lovely example of bathos. And ‘loveless love’ is a great phrase. Is that an original? I like the idea of Milord delegating the chase for his intended. I wonder what else he asks his man to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. micklively says:

    Charming has lost much of his charm.
    Good piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. gahlearner says:

    Heh, I love this. I ownder what excuse not to find her milord would have had if it had been another number, not narcissistic. Very original, fun story. It worked perfectly for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very funny Irene. It worked very well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ansumani says:

    Funny and clever story. Prince Charming is romantic, aggresive and wise 🙂

    C- Subjective feedback as a reader: ““Milord she’s gone down exit 48. Look, she’s lost her shoe. We can find her?”” This line didnt flow for me. Maybe the question at the end confused me a bit. Is the man asking his boss (Milord) if it’s possible to find her or if his boss still wants him to find her?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for that feedback. Yes I can see that is clunky and confusing. I think he is asking if his boss still wants him to find her but one of those sideways type of questions that lets the other know that he’s not too keen. I’ll think on how I can better improve this section. Thanks.


  7. Kris Kabiru says:

    Narcissists make for good lays though

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nice twist on a fairy tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think for a prince like that there is always another girl.. better not pick the 48 ones.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. M-R says:

    Little ripper, Irene !!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have no clue what this tale means, but it seems like it is full of sound and fury – and made me smile.


    Liked by 1 person

  12. Margaret says:

    No chance of this prince being led by his heart. Not sure what is leading him, but I suspect he’s never going to find the right princess. I love your spin on the fairy tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dear Irene,

    I never knew that 48 carried such ominous significance. Methinks Charming has some weird ideas. Cindy’s better off without him. 😉 Clever twist on an old favorite.



    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle,
      No I didn’t either until I researched the number 48.
      “In recreational number theory, a narcissistic number (also known as a pluperfect digital invariant (PPDI), an Armstrong number (after Michael F. Armstrong) or a plus perfect number) is a number that is the sum of its own digits each raised to the power of the number of digits.”
      Narcissistic number – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
      I have to admit it still doesn’t make much sense to me but then maths never did.
      Cheers Irene


  14. rgayer55 says:

    I need to get me a right-hand-man like that. I guess it’s a good thing he wasn’t a bit faster or he might have gotten stuck with the narcissist. Fun tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Liz Young says:

    Methinks he gave up too easily. Cinders is well shot of him.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Dale says:

    Lazy bugger… can’t even run after his own mate!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Funny Irene. Glad you explained the number 48.


  18. I had to google this to understand it. Y’all are too smart for me!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s