Friday Fictioneers: Rain drops

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Jeff had died eight years ago and still she cried. Maybe not as often as she had in the beginning when she was stunned, not knowing how she would cope on her own. But still on a daily basis. The rooms felt empty  bereft of his presence. The smallest reminder of him would make waterfalls of her eyes. She wanted to move on but she seemed stuck. Now here she was again. Jeff  had risen early to photograph rain drops. As she looked closely she resolved  no more crying for me. My face can’t afford this kind of magnification.

Genre: Fiction

Word Count : 99

Rochelle invites us to write 100 words or less in response to Santoshwriter’s photo prompt. Link up via the frog to see others here

About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. Commenced a masters by research in 2014.
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64 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Rain drops

  1. Moving on is one of the hardest things to do in life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Irene,

    I suspect her resolve won’t last long. There’s no statute of limitations on grief. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahh, very tender. (A minor thought – I wonder if it would be better with ‘Jeff had risen early’ rather than ‘Jeff rose early’ just because your way suggests he just rose even though he’s been dead for a long time.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Norah says:

    Waterfalls of her eyes … sometimes there’s just no stopping them, or the magnification. Love the pic to accompany the sadness of your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Francesca Smith says:

    Moving on from something or someone is often a difficult and lengthy process.
    Very touching story.

    Like

  6. Sonya says:

    A great last line to finish a touching story. Nice work!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. gahlearner says:

    A beautiful story, and the last line made me smile. Despite all the grief, when vanity returns, healing is on its way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. noelleg44 says:

    A tender take – and unusual – on this photograph.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. micklively says:

    I’ve heard crying is cathartic. I can’t see it.
    A moving piece Irene.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. storydivamg says:

    Irene,

    My, my! Still crying daily after 8 years? Definitely time for “her” to move on. I like the catalyst presented in the story.

    One point of critique–The story would be stronger if you give “her” a name. I know it’s tough to come up with new names for characters every week, but names help your audience identify. If a name is too hard to find, putting the story into first person also strengthens it and draws the reader in more closely.

    Good work.

    All my best,
    MG

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you MG. I used eight years as a friend is going to grief counselling and was told that if she was still grieving in 8 years they would be worried about her. I don’t know whether that is a magic number.
      Yes I do struggle with names. I find men easier to name than women. You have made a good point though that the audience identifies better with a name. As I predominantly write memoir I do a lot of first person writing. I think it confuse readers by using first person when it is fiction. I don’t want to upset anybody by thinking this is about me but I agree first person would make it much stronger. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate the feedback.
      Cheers Irene

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sherri says:

    I really like how you express her grief, and then, at the end, with your last line, she realises that enough is enough, and she thinks of the damage all that crying is actually doing to her skin – as in wrinkles! When we start worrying about the ‘small stuff’ then we know that we really are healing and moving on. Very clever flash this Irene 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Beautiful story Irene. My daughter’s late husband advised her to just keep moving forward. Difficult to do. Lovely photo.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Beautiful photo and story.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Beautifully written.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I guess the grief itself tells us when it’s time to move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. So poignant – anyone who’s suffered the grief of death – and most of us have – can relate to this. No matter our resolve, it never really goes away but might lessen in crippling intensity.
    Well written, an unusual perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Tears are so much part of the loss.. and those reminders that follow us.

    Like

  18. Sad story that has me smiling magnifyingly. Great last line.
    Randy

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Nicely told and poignant, love the last line.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Ula says:

    Very moving. Grief follows its own rules. For some a year or two is enough, for others decades are not enough. It’s hard to let go.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Nature’s tears. Nice one…

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Very tender. I felt for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Sandra says:

    I think she’s very definitely turned the corner. Nice one – the ending made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. hjmusk says:

    I’ve yet to experience this kind of loss, and I wonder how I’ll cope when my time comes.
    I’m glad she’s resolved to take the steps towards moving on.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Sheila says:

    Aww, pictures can bring back the most poignant, amazing, and lovely memories; even in grief. Sometimes, they help us heal. Wonderful take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. plaridel says:

    overcome by grief, one must learn to move on. nice story.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. wildbilbo says:

    Sad, well written and nicely done 🙂
    KT

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Dale says:

    Having lost my husband this past December, this definitely resonates with me. I cannot imagine grieving in such a manner for eight years. To stop living is not to honour the dead. That said, there is no official time schedule for grief so it takes the time it takes. I’m very happy she has come to realize that enough is enough. Life is too short and beautiful to waste away and not live!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Margaret says:

    This is a picture of grief that rings true. It never goes away entirely – somehow we have to find a place for it alongside all the other feelings that are part of life. Skilfullly depicted here.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Charli Mills says:

    This holds the rawness of grief and the will to carry on. You have truly mastered fiction in 99 words. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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