I’m starting this post with an apology for suddenly disappearing without warning that Times Past was going on holiday for a couple of months. I know some of you wondered/worried what had happened to me and I’m sorry that I did that. My disappearance was simply that I had to take time out. Suddenly, unexpectedly my world suddenly became too much for me and some things had to go in the short term.
Saying sorry made me wonder about Times Past. Did we feel guilty easier then, or in different generations or locations. Have our values or morals changed or do we experience guilt, wrong doing in just the way we always have done. Today I am asking you to think back to the time that you remember as being the first time you felt sorry, guilty or some other emotion where you wanted to say that you were sorry for your actions.
Please join in giving your location at the time of your memory and your generation. An explanation of the generations and the purpose of the prompts along with conditions for joining in can be seen at the Times Past Page. Join in either in the comments or by creating your own post and linking. Looking forward to your memories.
Baby Boomer – Australia country town
I have no doubt that I said the words many times before this event but this stands out in my memory as the first time I can remember these emotions coming from within myself, unbidden by parents or others.
I was around five years old and living in a small country town in NSW Australia. We lived about a half hour walk from school and having graduated from kindergarten to first class I was now allowed to walk home alone. I think my brother was supposed to walk with me but he wasn’t telling and nor was I.
The walk was three long streets in length and in the second street was Tattersall’s pub and a green grocer. This shop always tempted me with its hessian sacks of produce almost as tall as me on the street side of its entrance. The fruit held no appeal to me at all but the beans and peas were a constant temptation. One day it became too much for me and my little hand reached in and took a handful of plump, juicy beans.
“Oi,” was all I heard before I took off running. I altered my route and ran through a vacant block of ground dropping the beans as I ran. My pace didn’t slow until I was within sight of home where I slowed but my heart continued to pound with fear, guilt and remorse for what I had done.
Later that night a policeman knocked on the door. I hid under the bed with visions of being thrown in jail for my actions. I later discovered that the policeman was in Rotary with my Father and had some business to discuss with him.
The guilt I felt over the bean theft still remains with me. It was a good lesson learnt. I was never tempted to shoplift as many girls did in their teenage years and have never stolen – all because at five I felt guilty and sorry.
Baby Boomer UK Rural
I’m looking forward to reading your memories…….
Gen X South Africa city
Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist) 
Oh, this is going to be an interesting topic, Irene. Your bean story had my heart pounding, too. I wonder why some children are more sensitive to guilt and remorse than others. Having that police officer stop by must have done you in at that moment! Glad to see Times Past (and you!) back in action!
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It did do me in when he arrived. I’ve put my overdeveloped guilt and remorse traits down to having a father as a minister but perhaps it was just being brought up in a Victorian era household. I am interested to hear whether it is my generation that suffers this or whether it generally crosses the generations. I’m glad to be back in action too.
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It can be a cultural influence, too. I’m looking forward to patterns that wherever across place and generation.
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I’m looking forward to them too or I may get no responses. It is possibly not the kind of thing you want to own up to on line.
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Yes, Irene, I was wondering what happened to you. Glad to hear from you. Hummm, first time feeling sorry… I’ll think about that in the morning. Good night!
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Hope you had a good sleep Miriam. Nice to see you.
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I just thought of a very clear situation when I apologize. Look forward to your post. Remind me, when is it going to be?
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Hi Miriam post your memory on your site and link to my post. There won’t be one at Carrot Ranch this month as the announcements fo winners are made.
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Hi Irene, I’ll do it soon. I know Carrot Ranch is quite busy this month. I’m glad you’re back. May I ask you to post your review on Amazon. It will only be seen from Amazon Australia region and they won’t add it to Amazon.com. It’s too bad. I have review on India region also.
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I think my review will go to the American site as that is where I am registered. I’ll post it and see. It is a complicated process doing it as I have to email it to myself and then work out how to cut and paste on ipad. I can never remember but it will get there.
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Oh, do you make all the blog posts using iPad?
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No I don’t make any on ipad but I can only put reviews on amazon from it otherwise it doesn’t say verified purchase and that is important.
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I see, I do the purchase on my new laptop. I went back to a digital book purchased in June on my purchase history to write a review. Hopefully it will show as verified purchase.
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A most interesting memory, Irene
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I think I was so traumatised by it that I have never forgotten it and it remains as vivid today as it was back then.
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I have a memory like that too, Irene. I shared it in my post.
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Wow, you really spilled the beans. (I wondered did the cop trail you home) I mayn’t make it back for a bit for this. I won’t feel guilty if I can’t. But that’s another story.
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I’m glad you won’t feel guilty D. No the policeman was totally at our house on his own business with my Dad and nothing to do with me. You can see at five I was the centre of my own universe thinking everything was to do with me. LOL
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good to see you again and no need to apologize at all. life has many ups and downs and we need to do as we need to do. i was constantly sending in for things to receive in the mail as a young child and never had money to pay for them. like you, i always had a fear of the police coming to take me away.
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Thanks – it is good to be back. LOL I can see a whole generation of kids quivering at the sight of a policeman. Perhaps that is why I still do.
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What a wonderful story, Irene, though it wasn’t a wonderful moment for you, running home in guilt and remorse. It’s guided you for the rest of your life – eating those beans wasn’t as important as knowing you’d done something wrong and hating that gut wrenching feeling.
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I agree Sharon. I was probably lucky that it happened for me young as otherwise who knows – if I’d taken the beans and not fell guilt and remorse would I then have been destined to a life of crime.
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No apology or explanation ever necessary. Ahh good ole Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving.
Interesting topic you have chosen to write about. All my best to you.
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I know but it led well into the prompt. I like that – the gift that keeps on giving. Only one way to get rid of it and that is to confront it. Have a nice guilt free weekend.
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Oh, Irene, that’s a heavy burden of guilt for a five-year-old – makes me want to give you a cuddle! In the Catholic Church, babies are born with “the stain of original sin” so I guess I was guilty right from the start. But I don’t think my culture was very helpful in teaching me guilt as I now understand it in a genuine concern at potentially having harmed others and a wish to make amends. I’ll call back later in the month if I have anything else to say!
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Thanks for adding your thoughts Anne and the cuddle was gratefully received. My father was a Presbyterian minister so I was taught right from wrong very early in the piece and I was taught what I could say and what I couldn’t because there was a definite code of behaviour that was expected of the minister’s family in a small country town.
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Pingback: Heavy Hands #sorrynotsorry | TanGental
Hi Irene, here is my post for this month: https://bakeandwrite.co.za/timespastchallenge-im-sorry/
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Loved your memories. Just shows how guilt can live with us all our lives when we are primed to feel that emotion. Thanks for joining in.
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Just wondering if/when this prompt will start up again. (Hit a roadblock with the December prompt)
Book signings and traveling…so exciting 🙂
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Happy New Year. Yes it will be back in February. I hit a roadblock coming up with a prompt in January. Too much going on to put my thoughts in order. Look forward to seeing you in 2019.
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Great! Thanks. See you then 🙂
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Look forward to it.
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