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Jeff had died eight years ago and still she cried. Maybe not as often as she had in the beginning when she was stunned, not knowing how she would cope on her own. But still on a daily basis. The rooms felt empty bereft of his presence. The smallest reminder of him would make waterfalls of her eyes. She wanted to move on but she seemed stuck. Now here she was again. Jeff had risen early to photograph rain drops. As she looked closely she resolved no more crying for me. My face can’t afford this kind of magnification.
Genre: Fiction
Word Count : 99
Rochelle invites us to write 100 words or less in response to Santoshwriter’s photo prompt. Link up via the frog to see others here
About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist
I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist) 
Moving on is one of the hardest things to do in life.
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Yes it is a different journey for us all but no matter how long it is very hard.
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Dear Irene,
I suspect her resolve won’t last long. There’s no statute of limitations on grief. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle.
Yes grief comes in different forms and time lengths for different people.
Cheers Irene
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Ahh, very tender. (A minor thought – I wonder if it would be better with ‘Jeff had risen early’ rather than ‘Jeff rose early’ just because your way suggests he just rose even though he’s been dead for a long time.)
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Thanks Claire. I’ve changed it as the tense did suggest that despite death he had just got up. Cheers Irene
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Waterfalls of her eyes … sometimes there’s just no stopping them, or the magnification. Love the pic to accompany the sadness of your story.
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Yes sometimes you can’t. I think our previous conversation may in part have prompted my reaction to the photo prompt.
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I was thinking of it also as I read. 🙂
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Moving on from something or someone is often a difficult and lengthy process.
Very touching story.
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Thank you Francesca. Yes it is a difficult time when it happens.
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A great last line to finish a touching story. Nice work!
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Thanks Sonya. I’m glad you like the last line. Cheers Irene
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A beautiful story, and the last line made me smile. Despite all the grief, when vanity returns, healing is on its way. 🙂
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Glad the last line made you smile. Yes vanity has indeed returned.
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A tender take – and unusual – on this photograph.
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Thanks Noelle. I have been writing a paper to present at a conference on death and dying and Charli’s prompt caused a lot of discussion on the subject so I guess that is where my head is at right now.
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I’ve heard crying is cathartic. I can’t see it.
A moving piece Irene.
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Thank you Mick.
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Irene,
My, my! Still crying daily after 8 years? Definitely time for “her” to move on. I like the catalyst presented in the story.
One point of critique–The story would be stronger if you give “her” a name. I know it’s tough to come up with new names for characters every week, but names help your audience identify. If a name is too hard to find, putting the story into first person also strengthens it and draws the reader in more closely.
Good work.
All my best,
MG
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Thank you MG. I used eight years as a friend is going to grief counselling and was told that if she was still grieving in 8 years they would be worried about her. I don’t know whether that is a magic number.
Yes I do struggle with names. I find men easier to name than women. You have made a good point though that the audience identifies better with a name. As I predominantly write memoir I do a lot of first person writing. I think it confuse readers by using first person when it is fiction. I don’t want to upset anybody by thinking this is about me but I agree first person would make it much stronger. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate the feedback.
Cheers Irene
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I really like how you express her grief, and then, at the end, with your last line, she realises that enough is enough, and she thinks of the damage all that crying is actually doing to her skin – as in wrinkles! When we start worrying about the ‘small stuff’ then we know that we really are healing and moving on. Very clever flash this Irene 🙂 ❤
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Thanks Sherri. Yes when you start to think about your looks you have to be on the mend. 🙂 ❤
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Beautiful story Irene. My daughter’s late husband advised her to just keep moving forward. Difficult to do. Lovely photo.
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It does take time. It was lovely too that your daughter’s husband gave her that advice. Such a hard time that must have been.
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Beautiful photo and story.
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Glad you liked it Raewyn.
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Beautifully written.
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Thank you very much.
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I guess the grief itself tells us when it’s time to move on.
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That is true Tracey. It’ll take different times for different people.
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So poignant – anyone who’s suffered the grief of death – and most of us have – can relate to this. No matter our resolve, it never really goes away but might lessen in crippling intensity.
Well written, an unusual perspective.
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Yes we probably all have experienced grief to some extent and it does lessen over time allowing us to let the person back into our lives with our memories. There will always be something though that can bring it back like a smell or a place.
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Tears are so much part of the loss.. and those reminders that follow us.
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The reminders are interesting – how a smell, taste or place can bring back those intense grief emotions.
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Sad story that has me smiling magnifyingly. Great last line.
Randy
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It must be an ear to ear smile then. Glad to have given it to you and glad you liked the last line. Cheers Irene
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Nicely told and poignant, love the last line.
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Glad you liked the last line Sally. 🙂
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Very moving. Grief follows its own rules. For some a year or two is enough, for others decades are not enough. It’s hard to let go.
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Grief does follow its own rules but it should soften and have the corners rounded as time goes on. If it doesn’t the griever is dying also — in time (and different for everyone ) you have to let go.
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One of the most important lessons in life is learning to let go. That’s why I’m a big believer in letting yourself fully grieve at the beginning and not bottling up the emotions.
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Absolutely. I couldn’t agree with you more.
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Nature’s tears. Nice one…
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Thanks Lorna
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Very tender. I felt for her.
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It’s a hard place to be I imagine.
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I think she’s very definitely turned the corner. Nice one – the ending made me smile.
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Yes she’s turned the corner. Glad it made you smile.
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I’ve yet to experience this kind of loss, and I wonder how I’ll cope when my time comes.
I’m glad she’s resolved to take the steps towards moving on.
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I have lost a parent and a good friend but not a partner. I don’t really know how I will cope either. You don’t know til it happens. I hope it is a long way off for you.
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Aww, pictures can bring back the most poignant, amazing, and lovely memories; even in grief. Sometimes, they help us heal. Wonderful take on the prompt.
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Thanks Sheila.
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overcome by grief, one must learn to move on. nice story.
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Thanks.
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Sad, well written and nicely done 🙂
KT
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Thanks very much KT
Cheers Irene 🙂
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Having lost my husband this past December, this definitely resonates with me. I cannot imagine grieving in such a manner for eight years. To stop living is not to honour the dead. That said, there is no official time schedule for grief so it takes the time it takes. I’m very happy she has come to realize that enough is enough. Life is too short and beautiful to waste away and not live!
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I’m sorry that you have been experiencing this yourself. You are so right though — life is too short and too beautiful to use the gift of life that you have. 🙂
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Thank you. I truly believe that!
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This is a picture of grief that rings true. It never goes away entirely – somehow we have to find a place for it alongside all the other feelings that are part of life. Skilfullly depicted here.
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Thank you Margaret. Without love you can’t have grief and I’d not like to miss out on love so putting grief alongside is a nice way to put it.
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This holds the rawness of grief and the will to carry on. You have truly mastered fiction in 99 words. 🙂
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Thank you for that lovely compliment Charli.
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