© Marie Gail Stratford
The girls ran to the tank and climbed the attached ladder to the top. In this dry, harsh land the forbidden swim cooled them off. Without looking they jumped, falling further than normal before hitting the water. They frolicked and giggled as they told of their secret loves and hidden desires. Eventually, they tried to leave. The water level was too low making it impossible to get out. Their skin whitened and wrinkled as they panicked, floating to stay alive. The first succumbed. The floating body a life-raft for the others. Their cries of help echoed around the tank.
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
Rochelle invites us to write 100 words or less in response to Marie Gail Stratford’s photo prompt. Link up via the frog here
About Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist
I began my working career as a reluctant potato peeler whilst waiting to commence my training as a student nurse. On completion I worked mainly in intensive care/coronary care; finishing my hospital career as clinical nurse educator in intensive care. A life changing period as a resort owner/manager on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu was followed by recovery time as a farmer at Bucca Wauka. Having discovered I was no farmer and vowing never again to own an animal bigger than myself I took on the Barrington General Store. Here we also ran a five star restaurant. Working the shop of a day 7am - 6pm followed by the restaurant until late was surprisingly more stressful than Tanna. On the sale we decided to retire and renovate our house with the help of a builder friend. Now believing we knew everything about building we set to constructing our own house. Just finished a coal mine decided to set up in our backyard. Definitely time to retire we moved to Queensland. I had been writing a manuscript for some time. In the desire to complete this I enrolled in a post grad certificate in creative Industries which I completed 2013. I followed this by doing a Master of Arts by research graduating in 2017. Now I live to write and write to live.
Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist) 
Dear Irene,
A rather grisly tale that had such a pleasant beginning.
Note-In the sentence “The water level was to low…” I think you need another ‘o’ in too 😉
Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, thank you for the tip. Corrected.
Cheers Irene
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A striking mix of dark and innocent. Well done.
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Thank you Mick.
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A cheery little tale, not.
But AnElephant enjoys.
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I’m glad AnElephant enjoyed.
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Short, dark and dreamy. I liked it. Thank you!
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Thanks Matthew for dropping by and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. Cheers Irene
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Creepy stuff! And to think the town continued to drink the water… a sequel perhaps?
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Perhaps the town becomes poisoned as the water ripens. They mystery of the missing girls finally solved.
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Ouch.. this was very dark .. always sad when games end in disaster…
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Yes it is sad. The tragedy of youth is that they don’t have the foresight that gives older people hindsight.
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Gosh that turned a bit nasty. Good read though!
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Glad you enjoyed the read Rosey.
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What a horrible fate, and it began so joyful. Great story.
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Thanks. Yes it started nice but not a pleasant end, for at least one anyway.
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What a contrast, beginning to end. You have a devious mind, Irene. And I love it!
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Thank you Noelle. Glad you loved it.
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Dark. But well done story on how a seemingly innocent beginning can end up grisly.
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Yes it often happens in life. Thanks
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How quickly disaster can strike when children are innocent of the dangers lurking by their side. Dark and powerful flash this Irene, and reminds us of how lucky we are to survive so many of our childhood misadventures…
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Absolutely Sherri. I wonder how we did when you look at the legislation that is now enacted preventing us from doing half the things we did as youngsters. I really don’t know how we survived – pure luck I guess.
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Yes, must be. We had so much fun though, didn’t we 😉 😀 😉
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Most definitely
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What a way to go. Also, the way you’ve left it, I’m wondering how many (if any) others will die. Great move from secret pleasure to deadly adventure.
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Thanks Sarah. While they have a raft there is hope. How long before a body sink? That I haven’t researched.
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Well. That would be fun to research.
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That’s chilling and not in the way the girls intended.
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Thanks Charli. Love the way you put it.
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Ooh, I knew this one wouldn’t end well. So many tragedies come from innocent beginnings. Well done!
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Like many tragedies in real life — sadly. Thanks
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Yikes! At least they had a wee bit of shared joy in their friendship before it all went sour.
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That’s the optimists way of looking at it. 🙂
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Oh no, it started out so innocently and then it was so sad. Great story though.
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Thanks Raewyn. Yes it is sad.
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How horrible!
Not the story of course, that was good, but the story.
How horrible!
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Totally horrible. Glad you liked it in a horrible way.
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LOL 😉
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Another example of the truism of: “Look before you leap.”
Some leaps, even if made by faith, do not work out so well.
Randy
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That’s a good moral to be learnt from the story Randy. Thanks.
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Innocent play leading to a tragic ending – sad, well written to make me feel that way.
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Thanks Sally. I’m sorry and glad at the same time that the story made you sad. Cheers Irene
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I’ve often thought about this kind of death when finding a dead mouse in a bucket of water. How long did they manage to stay afloat, praying help would come, before they finally gave out and gave up. It reminds us all to look before you leap.
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Ray, I wish you hadn’t brought to mind the dead mouse. I had a dead ghekko the other day. I put him out in the sun hoping the warmth would restore life. Sadly no. Yes the moral of the tale is certainly look before you leap.
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Terrifying way to die.
DJ
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Absolutely .
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So sad when a joyful experience turns into a grisly one.
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It is sad Colline and sadly too true to life. Cheers Irene
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Fresh corpses aren’t bouyant. But it’s more than sufficiently spooky anyway.
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Dave would you believe I just didn’t have the word allowance to explain that the girls took it in turn to blow air into her lungs to keep her floating. You’re right not to believe it — poetic license. LOL Cheers Irene
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Oh what a frightening tale. It hit some core of fear inside me. Alone, isolated and drowning with no hope of being found has got to be one of the worst ways to go.
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I so agree with you Joseph. But there is hope for a couple…..
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Oh dear, what a terrifying tale! It gives me the shivers!
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Sorry to give you the shivers but thank you for reading.
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a tale with a twist but liked it
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Thank you so much.
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Grisly but well-told. You did a nice job in your use of foreshadowing without giving away too much.
All my best,
MG
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Thanks MG. I’m glad the foreshadowing worked. Cheers Irene
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Wow that is a chilling end after the pleasant start. Nicely done.
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Thank you glad you were chilled just when you were floating nicely along with the tale.
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A cautionary tale. Both dark and well written.
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Thank you Ann. Definitely look before you leap lesson to be learnt here.
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Definitely lives up to the name Reflections and Nightmares. Hope someone made it out alive!
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I hope so too.
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Nice story, but very tragic. Children often make dangereous decisions without even realizing it. A parents nightmare!
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Yes it is a bit too true to how real life goes. Innocent actions leading to tragic consequences.
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A good story, tragic and grisly as it is. Well done. 🙂
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Thank you. Glad you liked it.
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Oh, how awful, especially since they were only seeking a respite from the heat. This is sad, indeed. I could feel the desperation in how the girls used a body to stay afloat. What a grisly detail. Great story!
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Thanks Amy. I’m glad it gave you those feelings and that you thought it was “awful”.
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Oh how lighthearted fun can turn so dark when one does not prepare properly. So sad!
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Yes it is sad that they didn’t look before they leapt.
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an ending i didn’t expect.
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Good, I think. 🙂
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Oh no! Those poor girls. Well written.
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Thank you. Teaches you to look before you leap.
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